Why I don't diet..

I was talking to J, or hammer boy as I like to call him, about why I don't do well on diets. Particularly the very popular low carb diets that are all the rage these fifteen minutes. The main problem? Any diet that says I can't have my Mountain Dew is not the diet for me. I need my caffeine. And I don't do any of that diet soda crap. The aftertaste is awful. Then there's the other carbs, such as: breads, pastas, potatos, etc. The good stuff. Manna.

You either have to severely limit your intake of those items or take them out completely. Pshhyeah right.

I'd try to outsmart the low carb diet gods. I figured I'd use a 2:1 ratio, the 2 being protein to 1 carb. I wound up eating rather large amounts of food trying to sustain that ratio. It was torture. I'm not much of a meat eater.

Then I figured that I'd cut back on my sugar intake just a wee bit. One Mountain Dew a day is enough, right? Right? Ha! Not bloody likely, my friend. That's just a teaser. But I was determined to be a good girl. I drank vast amounts of tea with that sugar substitute. It didn't last long. And I love tea.

I tried seriously upping my veg intake. I ate so many vegetables that, well, it wasn't pretty. What goes in must come out, you know. Particularly vegetables. So that ended rather quickly. I couldn't live life in the toilet. Yes, ew, I know.

I spent more time trying to outsmart the carbs and I only wound up outsmarting myself. I'm very good at that. I've called a truce... At least until the next diet craze comes along.